The second annual YES! Care Partner Wellness Retreat was held April 20-21, which gave those caring for loved ones affected by young-onset dementia (YOD) a time and space to step out of that role, slow down, and breathe. Twenty-two care partners were welcomed by the YES! facilitators at Bon Secours Retreat Center in Marriottsville, MD for the second year in a row.
Typically, care partners arrive weary from the preparation it takes to be gone from their loved one for a day and a night and finding
care. They come through the doors tired and yet relieved to not have the burden of constant demands on their time and attention. YES! again offered an overnight stay at the retreat center free of cost to those attending through a generous grant from the Oluv C. Joyner Foundation via the Goldman Sachs Trust Company, and the Decesaris Family Foundation. This is one of the main ways that YES! can take care of our care partners through this retreat because YOD has such a strain on finances for many families affected by the disease.
“The mindfulness group I was in was the best experience for me. I no longer have ‘guilt’ about the care I gave my husband. I have a whole new outlook about guilt.” Joann O.
The retreat started off with an improv performance that brought energy and levity to the gathering, shaping and setting the tone for the rest of the care partners’ time there. The troupe asked the retreat attendees to share a story of their affected loved one and then proceeded to act it out with costumes, energy, and improvised dialogue. This resulted in light being shone on the absurdity of the situations that this disease puts us in, showing us the ridiculous situations that, on the face of it, are hilarious. They had the room rolling in laughter. One story a women shared was about her husband needing new sneakers and she asked their son to take his dad shoe shopping. The son returned home completely exasperated with no new sneakers, having tried everything he could think of to get his dad to try on shoes with no success. His dad simply did not understand what his son was saying or what he needed to do; that connection was not there. Then right after arriving back home frustrated, the mother reminded her son to tell his dad that he and his wife were moving to another state. This scenario, portrayed by the improv group, showed his son wanting to wring his father’s neck, and then his dad’s earnest response, “Oh, now I’m going to lose my best buddy!” was one of connection and understanding, and the opposite of their entire time in the shoe store. Each care partner recognized this story as a common theme in their experience: a surprising point of connection and light after a difficult and frustrating time.
When the improv troupe presented the stories in their own creative way, they brought a humor that made everyone in the room laugh at the most difficult parts of the story. One YES! facilitator reflected on the show, saying, “Sometimes it takes others to show us where humor might be possible.”
After being able to laugh at themselves, their loved ones, and the entire situation, our guests were enveloped by a soothing ambience, rocking chairs, and uplifting messages throughout their time at the retreat. Over the past two years, this retreat has centered on providing a calm and relaxing atmosphere where care partners are able to put aside the anxieties and pressures of their everyday life. In line with this, care partners were free to attend as much of the retreat as they felt they were able given their individual preferences.
“It’s the weekend I didn’t know I needed! The planning, preparation, thoughtfulness and care shown by everyone involved was definitely appreciated. Don’t know how to say thank you for all you do! But please know how grateful we all are.” Marcia S
The care partners were treated to a weekend dedicated to them, participating in a range of activities designed specifically to provide them with rest, relaxation, and recuperation. To take care of care partners’ mental health, there were mindfulness activities like a labyrinth. For physical health, they were treated to hiking on the beautiful grounds and massages. Healthy meals and enjoying time together over excellent food was a highlight. Everyone agreed that an evening around an open fire pit, sharing drinks and smores, relaxed conversations, and surrounded by the sounds of laughter and a crackling fire was enough to realize how much their body, mind and soul longed for moments like this.
We like to send our guests off with a gift or token to know how much we care about them. This year, a therapeutic gardening program “Plants with Purpose” run by a residential mental health nonprofit in Frederick, MD called ClearView Communities, donated beautiful plants that residents raised in their greenhouse for the care partners attending this retreat to take home. These plants, “carefully nurtured by someone who is overcoming challenges in their own life by identifying their individual strengths, serve as symbols of empowerment.” As YES! grows and develops ties to other nonprofits working in similar or complementary spaces, we are excited to develop partnerships in which we can help each other with our respective work in the community. We are truly appreciative of the support that has been shown to us!
“Socializing time was my fave way to connect with other retreaters, especially ones that were new and or didn’t attend last year.” Marie R.
“Truly awesome retreat! Loved every minute of it while I was there.” Valeria S.
“Thank you all so much for all the love and work that goes into planning and running the retreat. It was wonderful!” Merry J.
